It’s entirely normal to experience a flurry of emotions when a loved one is diagnosed with a serious mental illness. Guilt, shame, disbelief, fear, anger and grief are common reactions. Acceptance can take time for the diagnosed individual, you, and other family members and friends. That acceptance happens at a different pace for everyone. Be patient with yourself and others. One of the most important things you can do to support a family member with serious mental illness is to educate yourself.
The more you learn about what to expect, the easier it will be to provide support and assistance. I know what it’s like, as someone who has been hospitalized for mental health, and having a family member currently in treatment. Please don’t be afraid to ask for help for yourself or a loved one. You aren’t alone. Mental health affects not only the person, but those that surround them. Anyone can experience mental health problems. Friends and family can make all the difference in a person’s recovery process. When someone you love has been diagnosed with a mental illness, you feel a mixture of emotions.
Concern, compassion, disbelief, anger, relief, anxiety, grief, love, guilt…any and all these emotions are understandable and normal. You are not to blame for a loved one’s mental illness. Mental illnesses are caused by many different factors that work together, such as genetics, biology, environment, and life experiences. Loved ones can play a big part in helping a person recover, work towards their goals, and stay well. Care and emotional support go a long way in recovery and well-being. So can practical help, like managing doctor’s appointments and other daily tasks. You can also play a part in helping a loved one maintain well-being. You and other close supporters may be the first to notice changes in a loved one’s mood, behavior, self-care, or other area that shows their mental health may be worsening.
This means you can help your loved one find the right help early. You can also help them see hope at a time when they feel it the least. When a loved one experiences a mental illness, their care and support can take a lot of time and energy. But your own needs are just as important, too. When a loved one has a psychiatric disorder, it’s a challenge for the whole family: parents, siblings, friends, and relatives. The willingness to come together as a unit, accept the diagnosis, look for help, go beyond criticism, blame, and judgement will not guarantee recovery, but it makes it far more likely.
Denial and disapproval will only worsen the situation. Family support (and by family, I mean a biological family or a chosen one) is vital to recovery. The support helps minimize the indignities and damage mental illness can inflict on an individual that would otherwise take place had the support not been there in the first place. It also can save a loved one’s life. Supportive friends can play an essential role in the mental health recovery process.
All too often, people respond negatively or dismissively when someone discloses that he/she has a mental health disorder. It is important to remember that mental health disorders are just as real as physical illnesses and that a person cannot just “snap out of it. Someone you know will have a mental health problem right now – a family member, your friend, your workmate. He or she just might not know how to tell you. Being open to mental health can break down any stigma surrounding it. You don’t have to be an expert to talk and listen; often, the little things make a big difference. Which means listening, and making their voice feel heard and that they are not alone.
Many people today view individuals with disabilities as different people based upon their appearances and behaviors. To me and other individuals with and without disabilities, these kinds of viewpoints are very derogatory. I say this myself because people have doubted me and my own abilities. The struggles we face in life are challenging, but we do not see ourselves being limited by our disabilities. Instead, we have different skills that play essential roles within our communities and work environments. Though people doubt our abilities, we often prove them wrong about our capabilities. I don’t know why people make such a big deal out of people with disabilities. The problem lies in how people think about disability.
First, most of us think of disability rather narrowly, for instance, when someone is missing a limb, paralyzed and in a wheelchair, or blind. Any apparent condition limits people from doing things that so-called normal people can do. We also have a tendency to idolize people with disabilities, to see them as courageous and as inspirations for all of us. We marvel at how they overcome their disabilities to compete in marathons, get college degrees, or establish successful careers. We think they are somehow unique, and we want to learn how they cope with their difficult lives in the hope that we can use those lessons to overcome the comparatively minor challenges we face in our own lives.
But the people I know with disabilities don’t think of themselves as different or special. Remember that, at some point in their lives (unless they were born physically challenged), they weren’t different or special, they were just normal, just like the rest of us. They don’t possess special qualities, for example, resilience or a positive attitude, that we lack. Their circumstances changed, namely, the physical challenges that changed their life. The attributes that emerged that enabled them to overcome their disabilities weren’t unique to them. Instead, their reactions that we consider superhuman are, in fact, decidedly human and reside in all of us.
Though we may think we would crawl into a ball and surrender when faced with similar challenges, most would probably react with the same courage and determination. That is the real lesson that so-called normal people can learn from those who are disabled. So, next time you meet a person with disabilities, try two things with them. First, rather than paying attention to their disabilities, find out their abilities and how they define themselves.
Second, don’t treat them as if they are disabled. Instead, treat them as if they are normal. You know why? Because they are far more normal than you think. And, more importantly, they want to be viewed and treated based not on their disability, that is, one small aspect of who they are (however noticeable and intrusive the disability may be), but rather on all of their abilities and the totality of who they are. People with mental or physical conditions are differently abled because they possess unique abilities and perspectives. Everybody has ability and everybody matters, it’s all about acknowledging it. ‘Differently abled’ doesn’t hide the fact that your loved one has been diagnosed with a condition, but continues to empower them despite it.
Oftentimes, differently abled people see what we can’t, hear what we can’t and think what we can’t. This makes their ability different – not inferior, not superior – just different. The term differently abled recognises talent and value in everybody and treats them equally. While mental conditions like autism can affect certain everyday functions, it need not stop them from enjoying a fulfilling, enriched and loved life. Many different people are known to flourish and rejoice in life with the right opportunity, support, and love.
People with disabilities and advocates in the disability rights movement, however, assert that all individuals, regardless of their disability status, have individual rights that cannot be ignored. Decisions like those made in this case are the most personal of personal rights, not family rights. Every person has the right to bodily integrity, clearly recognized in our legal tradition, through the constitutional rights of liberty and privacy and the common law right to be left alone unless the individual chooses to have their body disturbed in some way. Individuals with disabilities, no matter the nature or severity of their disability, are no different.
The Constitution and antidiscrimination laws make it clear, all people, including people with disabilities, are entitled to equal treatment under the law. The word “disability” is something that is kind of scary to talk about. Commonly, other words that have become obsolete and insensitive are used in their place. Mental retardation, special needs, special education, handicapped and different words have become something that sets the already marginalized individuals with disabilities further away from society because it makes them undesirable. A person with a disability does not want to hear that they are different or looked at like they are strange, but that is what they experience every day of their lives. It ultimately comes down to “normal” people having limited interaction with disabled people. People with disabilities are people first. If you find yourself caught off guard when you run into someone with a disability, I suggest you ask yourself, “How would I want to be treated?” People like myself, whether physical or mental, have an attitude of pity that causes the bar to be lowered for performance, and this cannot and will never be helpful. This bar is unfortunately reduced for people with disabilities throughout their lives; this must stop. What is “normal?” We all have different abilities, talents, interests, and personalities. You name it!
We must recognize that the value of life is found in who we are and not in whom we are NOT. Sooner or later it has to be accepted that disability is a part of life. Maybe not mine, not yours, but someone’s. Don’t let others grow up carrying the same stigmas and stereotypes passed on to us. Make a difference by acknowledging that kids and adults with disabilities are people first, with gifts, talents, and abilities. People with disabilities are made up of so much more. If you change yourself, you will change your world. If you change how you think, you will change how you feel and your actions. And so the world around you will change.
Depression | Operationiam 